How a Prenup Makes Your Marriage BetterMay 06, 2021
I have a pre-nup with my partner.
*gasp* What?! Why would you go into a marriage, thinking it'll fall apart? Don't you love each other? Aren't you committed to this marriage?! 😱
Let's look into what prenups are- and how they can make a marriage *better* 🤯
A prenup- or, a prenuptial agreement- is: “a contract that a couple signs before getting married to figure out their finances in case of a divorce"
So, with that in mind, yeah, I see where you're coming from: it's planning what'll happen if you get divorced. But I still highly recommend them, and I'm really glad that my husband and I- who are super happily hitched- have one. Why on earth is that? 🤷
Because a pre-nup is like financial pre-marital counseling! 😲
You both disclose what you have in terms of income, assets, debts, and financial obligations. And just thinking about the people I know personally, I've known people who have gotten married and not known that their partner:
Is deep in debt (more common than you'd think!) 💳
Pays over 50% of their income in alimony & child support (this was in the state of California- note to self: never moving there) 😖
Has a "job", but their main source of income is their parents (two people) 🙄
Trashed credit scores (also common) 📉
Had more than 2 DUIs (once) 🚓
Had been bankrupt (once) 😰
These are all issues that would have come up if the couples had sought a pre-nup 🤷
With two other friends, one chose not to marry her partner after he presented her with an extremely unfair pre-nup! He didn't think of her as a romantic partner- just a roommate who would pay her share of the mortgage 😲
The second friend didn't marry her unemployed partner when, during their pre-nup process, he assumed that he would simply become 50% owner in the business she had spent 12+ years building 😓
No one goes into marriage thinking, Well, I wonder how long this is gonna last? We all think our marriage will last until death do us part. That's awesome!
...And I'd still recommend a pre-nup. From now on, I encourage you to think of the pre-nup process as premarital financial counseling:
You might learn something you vitally need to know about your partner 👍
You'll definitely learn whether or not you and your partner are on the same page, in how you think about and deal with finances 😅
My husband and I had both dealt with difficult divorces, and we each wanted a pre-nup. But it has totally made our marriage better:
We know we're on the same page when it comes to our finances
I respect my partner more, knowing that he's responsible with money
I also trust my partner more, knowing that he wasn't worried about or trying to hide anything from me. If he can be open with me about his finances (it's so personal!), then I trust him to be honest with me about everything else, too
Since we've already been open with each other, we can talk about money easily- and we never fight about money, either 😁
Still not convinced? Here are some other ways to think about pre-nups:
If you can't talk about your finances before you're married, do you really think that will change after the wedding? 🤯
If you and your partner have nothing to hide, a pre-nup contract should be easy 😊
If you or your partner don't have anything to hide, you're just really private and don't want to commingle finances- then you DEFINITELY need a pre-nup, for your own comfort levels! 😆
Pre-nups are actually really good for you, and can make your marriage BETTER! 👍
Now That's Smart Money 🧐
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